Don't Know...

It has been long since I last update. Many things happened. My feelings all were kept inside. I don't know how to express it out. Till now I still can't express it out. Day by day I feel more and more stressed out and tired. I don't know why are we still holding on to each other when there is nothing to hold on to. I don't know why am I still hanging on to our memories though I know that you won't be the same again. I don't know why I can't make up my mind and stick to my decision and just live all by myself. I really hate myself right now. Everything that happens I feel that it's not right. When I'm with you, though we seems normal and sweet in front of others, we both know that both of us are acting. This relationship is full with lies, it's totally empty. Today you asked me to take things for you again. You were so demanding. Everytime last minute only tell me to do this and that, I'm fed up with it. I don't like it. I don't like it at all! It makes me feel that I'm your servant, I'm your driver I'm everythig that I don't wish to be. I hate myself for being so weak and so soft towards you. I really disappointed in myself. I really can't continue with this life. I need to do something. I'm sorry if I hurt you eventhough I know you won't be hurt as much as I am. Please don't say sorry if you don't mean it. It really hurts and disappoint me when you said it and you don't mean it.