These days I've been staying up all night till dawn. Now my sleeping time is at 11am or bout 12pm. Gosh! My time is totally upside down. But I can blame no one as I'm a procastinate person. Finals is here and I only started my revision last week. It is not enough time for me to study all but I can just do whatever I could and study all? Staying up late is not a good thing. Especially when you sleep off the whole afternoon. It's actually a waste of your day.
Anyway, I'm updating this blog is because suddenly I feel like writing as there is no where else for me to release my feelings and my thoughts. I wanted to sleep but then somehow I don't know why you came into my mind again.
Recently, I realized, girls move on faster than guys do ( just recently ). I have a few friends that broke up with their girlfriends and now, the girls already have new boyfriends. And you could see them messaging sweet messaging in Facebook and sweet cuddling snogging pictures are uploaded. I feel speechless to say the least. I wonder why you all could move on that fast? In a blink of an eye.
I remember what you told me, you don't wna be in love or think about love and wna concentrate in studies, and now, less than a month you already found one. My heart was broken and yet I have to act like I'm fine. I'm actually tired of this life. I wna leave here I wna go somewhere without you in my sight. That's why I hope time passes fast and I will leave here, ceteris paribus.
It's not easy to get over you to get over 22-months- relationship. If we're still together, it will be 2 years anniversary this month. However, that's over. I don't understand why we will become like this. Now we're friends but we have nothing to talk. I mean I guess I have many things to tell you but I'm no longer in that position nor have the right to tell you anymore. Thinking of what was once belonged to me now belongs to another. It's really saddening. I hate it so much. No matter what, I'm still glad that what happened has happened. After you, or being with you, I know what kind of life, love, happiness that I want. I'm really just a simple person. I like simple life, simple dates, simple yet memorable. That's what I want. I rather eat hawker food, walk in hands by the beach, travel to new places with budget than eating in high-class restaurants, buying branded stuffs to dress myself up. I guess I'm happiest in the beginning when you were still in disguise before all your characters are out.
I still remember, we kept going to Northern Beach to eat when we started being together and sorry cause I'm not an adventurous person and I don't know many places. I know life with me is dull and boring and when you don't talk to me or ignore me, I'll start being annoying. But now I won't be that annoying person anymore.
The feeling of missing you but dare not tell you can't tell you is really disheartening. Moreover, imagining you and that person, it kills me. I guess I'm just thinking of you cause of the memories. We all know, I'm better off without you just like you're better off without me. Life sucks now but I hope it will be better in the coming days. :)
P.S. I....miss you. I hate to admit that but I do.
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